Bullying Matters

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A Message To All Those Hurting

Posted by bullyingmatters on May 5, 2013 at 2:00 AM Comments comments (1)

Last night I lay in bed and thought about the world. About how many millions upon millions of people there are out there. Trying to picture all the different things people were doing, think about the conversations they're having and the emotions that they're feeling.

It then hit me hard that so many people out there, at that precise moment, were being hurt physcially or emotionally. Millions of people were crying themselves to sleep or many lay awake too sad to sleep. It really did break my heart to think that there was absolutely nothing I could do about the vast majority of the instances. That's why I decided to write this specific blog entry. I'm going to address it to those who have been hurt, are hurting now or simply need something to brighten their day. Because honestly, most of us fit into one of those categories.

To all those hurting,

I know your pain.

You may think I don't, but I do. Tears may be spilling down your face and your heart may feel like it's breaking. It may be because of something someone's said or done to you, it may be because you've lost someone or something, it may be because everything's suddenly got too much.

I shall say it again, I know your pain; I've been there. And, although some people won't admit it - they have been too.

We live in a society today when many emotions are hushed up or overlooked. We're told to just get on with things. Either that or expressing feelings can mean that other people can manipulate us.

But I want you to know, you're not alone out there. There are seven billion other people. Seven billion. That's alot of people crying, alot of hearts breaking and alot of lips downturned.

I know this blog will only reach a few of you but I'm glad even if just one person reads this and it ignites a spark within them - that someone if you. Yes, you. I'm here writing this blog for you. I don't know who you are or what you've been through. I don't know your hopes or dreams. But there is one thing I know, you're special. You're perfect. You're unique.

The pain you're going through right now or have been going through before is nothing compared to the happiness you'll find one day; either in someone else, in a job, in a relative...in life. We all have rough patches in our lives and we all have days which we wish we didn't have to face - some more than others. But that's no reason to give up - you'll reach happiness sooner or later.

So dry those tears, mend those hearts, produce a smile. Let your eyes alight with the compassion, excitement and enjoyment that life is supposed to be all about. Go out into the world, seize the day and be the change that you want to see. Don't let the hurting override the fact of how important and unique you are - happiness is just around the corner.

I know each and every single one of you find your happiness.

God bless,

Cait :)

 

 

 

 

***You can get hold of me via the following methods:

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: www.twitter.com/bullyingmatters

Facebook: www.facebook.com/bullyingmatters ***

 

We All Have A Purpose...Even You

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 20, 2012 at 7:25 AM Comments comments (0)

The other day, I was sat in my form room in school attempting to read. However, seeing as it was nearly summer - it was pretty noisy and hectic.

I gave up reading and sat there instead, wondering if there were any other quieter rooms in the school that I could use. As I ran through the rooms in my mind and the clubs going on in them or the forms that were inhabiting them for the lunch hour - I realised that there weren't any free. They were all taken - they all had a purpose.

That got me thinking even more as I sat there surrounded by noise. Every room is there because it has a purpose. Every room was built to fulfill a function and a duty. All the room's are important because without them, a club wouldn't have a room to do whatever they do and the forms wouldn't have a tutor base etc.

Having thought that, I believed that the same concept could apply to people. Every person that is born has a purpose. Every person that is born was born to fulfill a duty. All people are important because without them, the purpose for which they were born would not be completed.

When I say 'purpose', people may interpret that in different ways. When I write it, I don't mean that everyone's purpose is going to be finding a cure for cancer or achieving world peace because those are things that are unlikely to be achieved by just one person. Your purpose may be to contribute to something like that but what I mean when I write the word purpose are things like being a great parent to your children - raising them well, making them happy, giving them a fulfilling and happy childhood. Or being a good friend for someone, being there for them through hard times, support them, love them. It could be things like your job as well. Say you're a teacher, then educating the students - making them benefit from the lessons. Sharing knowledge willingly and helpfully. Things like volunteering and helping out the community. Even the simplest things like picking up a bit of litter because if the person that picked it up wasn't born then that bit of litter would still be there. And if the person that dropped that piece of litter was never born then there wouldn't be that bit of rubbish for the other person to pick up and feel good about themselves because they did. Even just the small things like smiling at a stranger on the street and making them smile as well.

I know this is getting quite complex and deep, and some may even say silly but this is what I'm trying to get at;

We all have a purpose, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

So, how this relates to bullying is the fact if someone makes you feel useless, worthless or like you shouldn't have even been born then remember that you SHOULD BE. Just remember that. If you were never born then that purpose that you're fulfilling on this would not be being done because YOU wouldn't be here to do it.

I'll wrap this up pretty quickly. If you ever feel any of those things that I listed previously or that you don't feel like continuing in life then just think that your purpose is going to be left unfulfilled - the world needs you, you are important and don't ever forget it.

God bless,

Cait :)

 

 

 

***You can get hold of me via the following methods:

 

Email: [email protected]

 

Twitter: www.twitter.com/bullyingmatters

 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/bullyingmatters ***

 

What To Do If You're Being Bullied

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:55 PM Comments comments (0)

Today's topic is what to do if you're being bullied. This is quite a tricky and sometimes sensitive topic for some people as people that haven't been bullied will probably find it easier to talk about what you should do if you're being bullied. The reason why bullying victims find it harder is because we all know what you're supposed to do if you're being bullied "go and tell a responsible adult yadayadayada.." we've all had it quite literally drilled into our heads from a very young age which is the society which we live in now, we just have to accept it, but people who have been bullied (like myself) know that its not as easy as that. many people find this because they might be getting threatened not to tell on the bullys by them or maybe people will see them as 'weak' if they let someone know that they're being bullied as many bullied victims can be seen as 'weak' by their fellow peers. I COMPLETELY disagree with this. victims of bullying are some of the strongest people in the world to be able to withstand the brutal hate of those bullies. anyway, to stay on track, i understand completely how you feel as i was once in that position. you shouldn't feel bad or guilty because it's not your fault. having to tell someone what's been going on is probably one of the hardest things to do in life and once you've done it you'll feel like you'll be able to achieve anything; trust me, i've done it! Once you've done it, the bullies can't hurt you anymore because you've overcome them.. Even if you feel scared or frightened that they could come after you again then don't worry because you've told somebody once, you can do it again!I don't want to ramble too much because you'll be getting bored, hehe, anyway my top tips for what to do if you're being bullied:

 

1. (the most said top-tip for overcoming bullying OF ALL TIME) TELL SOMEONE: whether it be a friend, a sibling, a cousin, a parent, a carer, a youth worker, a teacher even a grandparent! whoever you trust with what's going on and know that they'll be able to sort it out

 

2. DON'T KEEP YOUR FEELINGS BOTTLED UP INSIDE: this is what I did and it only brought me down. you don't have to tell anyone you don't trust all the details just roughly outline the situation and they'll understand what's going on and help you. remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.

 

3.KEEP YOUR TRUE FRIENDS CLOSE. i know when you're being bullied it can feel like you're worthless and nobody wants to know you but trust me other people feel the same way! so if you feel like you haven't got any close friends at the time then find some new people to hang out with and i'm sure you'll make some new friends then (if you already have some 'close friends' then stick with them:)) maybe have a few girly(or boyey:L) get-togethers and spend more time with them, it will cheer you up; i assure you!

 

4. IF YOU HAVE A BULLY BOX OR A BULLY CO-ORDINATER AT SCHOOL YOU COULD SPEAK TO THEM: they can keep your name anonymous and help sort out the problem. Or, if you feel scared about approaching someone then maybe you could either write to an agony aunt (like you see in the magasines) and explain you problem to them and see what they say about it or come and talk to someone like me or another anti-bullying campaigner and you don't have to tell us what's going on you can simply speak to us as a friend maybe have a girly chat or something. i'm not some fully-trained adult or programmed robot i'm just a normal 14 year-old-girl that wants to help people that were in the position that i was in a couple of years ago.so yeah, those were my 4 top tips. i hope they helped:)feel free to contact me about anything. you can find the details to do so somewhere on this website or on my last blog on here.

 

I hope this has helped!

 

God bless,

Cait:)

Want To Protect Your Kid From Cyber-bullying? There's An App For That

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:50 PM Comments comments (0)

hello!

 

The main reason why I decided to write this blog today was because I found this article on the web called 'Want To Protect Your Kid From Cyber-Bullying? There's An App For That', I'll post the link at the bottom of this blog. But, basically, what it is is a tracker for parents on the kids phone which tracks over three-thousand words and phrases that are classed as offensive and forwards them to the child's parent. Now, although the parent's think that this is a fabulous idea as it gives them track of what their kids are sending to others, surely this is an invasion of privacy?

From a kids point of view I would HATE it if some of my texts were forwarded to my parents because some of them may seem offensive to a computer but between me and my friends it's simply just banter!

 

The parents argue back though that kids shouldn't be sending anything from their phone that they wouldn't want their parent's seeing which is a very valuable argument but a lot of cyber-bullying happens online aswell so even though it might help cut the amount of cases down, it wont rid the world of it completely.

 

Also, the app is only free until October 15th from then on, you could be charged anything around $10 which is not that expensive but will parents be bothered to go and download it? I don't know.

 

So overall, I'm not really convinced that this will really work but if you have a different opinnion or have more information on it, then feel free to contact me because I love hearing your thoughts on these matters.

 

God bless,

Cait:)

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:45 PM Comments comments (0)

I often hear people say 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade'. Call me silly but, I never fully understood the true meaning of the phrase. That, was until a couple of months ago when I first decided to write the blog. I was just sat there thinking about the words as they replayed over and over in my mind; I like to ponder on things like this! Then, suddenly, it just came to me. You may already understand the meaning but, I want to give you my view on it.

 

I am a Christian and therefore I believe that God created the world and everything in it. I am not going to force my beliefs on to people and I completely accept atheists or believers of another religion but I believe the bit of the phrase that says "when life" actually means "when God". The next bit "gives you lemons" translated to me as "gives you the gift of life". The final bit which reads "make lemonade" I believe that it could mean "make something amazing of it". So, in the end, the whole thing would say "When God gives you the gift of life, make something amazing of it". I just sat back and realised how powerful the words were.

 

It's quotes like this that I feel everyone needs to hear and fully understand to realise that whatever they have is precious and they should treasure it as there is someone in the world that can only dream of having what they have however small and rubbish it may seem to them.

 

I wont go into much more detail as the quote from then on is pretty self explanatory (sorry for not being able to spell explanatory) but if you don't believe in God, then 'when you are given the gift of life' or with another religion; whatever you feel appropriate.

 

God bless,

Cait:)

***Want to write a blog to be featured alongside this one? Email me with your name and why you'd like to write one! Thanks***

Ally's Blog - 2

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:40 PM Comments comments (0)

The apology.

An interesting thing happened to me the other day. My friend Sam apologized for abusing my trust a five years ago by siding with a bully, called Kelly. We had all moved to London from Sydney together and were planning to live together for 12 months while we were abroad. We lasted two months before Kelly decided to use her long-term friendship with Sam to exclude me.

For two months I had to deal with silent treatment, people stealing my food, rifling through my belongings and finally, telling lies about me to my friends back in Australia. After trying to ignore it, then to overcome it, I decided this was one of those moments that I had to walk away. It was difficult but empowering, and they were never able to victimize me in the same way ever again.

Fast forward a five years and I find myself talking with Sam directly about that time. We had started to become friends again about a year ago, but never really discussed what happened and how our friendship ended so suddenly.

It seems her bullying had a much bigger impact on her than it did on me. For me, it was really distressing at the time, but I learned from it and I moved on. In fact, if anything, the whole experience taught me how resilient I was as a person. It gave me the confidence to walk away from two friends while living in a foreign country and live with strangers for the first time. The outcome? I met some of the most amazing people ever, who I’m lucky to still call friends today, people that are considerate, supportive, good natured and a whole lot of fun to be around.

When talking to my friend as she tried to explain her actions, one word came up a number of times in the conversation. Weakness. She admitted that she was too weak to stand up to our friend who had turned against me and decided it was easier just to go along with the bitchiness than to fight it and find herself in the same firing line.

Unfortunately for her though, once I had moved out, the same pattern of destructive bullying kept happening and Sam found herself losing more and more friends by siding with Kelly. The situation between her and Kelly actually got considerably worse when she realized that she was being bullied the entire time. Kelly was being just as disrespectful to Sam, and on a number of occasions, actually decided to hook up with Sam’s boyfriends. Not exactly the act of a good friend.

Hopefully she’s learnt as much from that experience as I have. Since then, she has given up on her friendship with Kelly and moved on by making new friends.

The fact is, bullying is something that can sometimes feel unavoidable, but a bully can have a hold on you for only too long. While it may take you a little while to forgive them for their bullying, the chances are, it will take them a lot longer to forgive themselves.

Ally's Blog - 2

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:40 PM Comments comments (0)

The apology.

An interesting thing happened to me the other day. My friend Sam apologized for abusing my trust a five years ago by siding with a bully, called Kelly. We had all moved to London from Sydney together and were planning to live together for 12 months while we were abroad. We lasted two months before Kelly decided to use her long-term friendship with Sam to exclude me.

For two months I had to deal with silent treatment, people stealing my food, rifling through my belongings and finally, telling lies about me to my friends back in Australia. After trying to ignore it, then to overcome it, I decided this was one of those moments that I had to walk away. It was difficult but empowering, and they were never able to victimize me in the same way ever again.

Fast forward a five years and I find myself talking with Sam directly about that time. We had started to become friends again about a year ago, but never really discussed what happened and how our friendship ended so suddenly.

It seems her bullying had a much bigger impact on her than it did on me. For me, it was really distressing at the time, but I learned from it and I moved on. In fact, if anything, the whole experience taught me how resilient I was as a person. It gave me the confidence to walk away from two friends while living in a foreign country and live with strangers for the first time. The outcome? I met some of the most amazing people ever, who I’m lucky to still call friends today, people that are considerate, supportive, good natured and a whole lot of fun to be around.

When talking to my friend as she tried to explain her actions, one word came up a number of times in the conversation. Weakness. She admitted that she was too weak to stand up to our friend who had turned against me and decided it was easier just to go along with the bitchiness than to fight it and find herself in the same firing line.

Unfortunately for her though, once I had moved out, the same pattern of destructive bullying kept happening and Sam found herself losing more and more friends by siding with Kelly. The situation between her and Kelly actually got considerably worse when she realized that she was being bullied the entire time. Kelly was being just as disrespectful to Sam, and on a number of occasions, actually decided to hook up with Sam’s boyfriends. Not exactly the act of a good friend.

Hopefully she’s learnt as much from that experience as I have. Since then, she has given up on her friendship with Kelly and moved on by making new friends.

The fact is, bullying is something that can sometimes feel unavoidable, but a bully can have a hold on you for only too long. While it may take you a little while to forgive them for their bullying, the chances are, it will take them a lot longer to forgive themselves.

Annalise's Blog - 3

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Hi guys,

me again, a few weeks ago i had a run in with some bullys, and it was horrible! i got to school just as the bell rung and i was wearing some new boots i bought and i thought they were pretty cool, but when i walked into the classroom one of the mean girls gave me a bad look and said in front of the class, "look, she thinks she is cool being late and buying high top boots, hahaha". That was it , i ran out of the class crying as this had happened to me a lot at my previous school.i just couldnt take it, there are so many bullies in my life and i dont see the point in bullying others, its something bullys do to make themselves feel better but in doing that they put others down and lowers their self esteem.

Susannah's Blog

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Hello, my name is Susannah and this is my blog for Bullying Matters. I have been unfortunate enough to have experienced bullying several times in my life. Although I am a stronger person now, the situations were pretty bad when they occurred, and, when you are in them, it certainly feels like it will never end.

Bullying can take several forms: from verbal abuse, to intimidation, to deliberate exclusion and backstabbing. I have been subjected to all of these. Although the problem is always with the person doing the bullying, you cannot help but ask yourself: why me? What have I done to deserve this and why did they choose me? Especially if you get bullied more than once, and by different people, you begin to wonder what is wrong with you.

My problem is that I am shy. I don’t talk much, and people, mean people, see that as a weakness, and me as an easy target. For years my self-esteem suffered, and it took me a long time to accept myself and the fact that I am just a quiet person. I don’t see being quiet it as a weakness. It is just a part of who I am. Now I stand up for myself against people who choose to target me and put me down because they are not happy within themselves.

I did not write this poem, but I am posting it here because it shows how it feels to be a target of bullying:

I am the person you bullied at school

I am the person who did not know how to be cool.

I am the person you alienated.

I am the person you ridiculed and hated.

I am the person who sat on her own.

I am the person who walked home alone.

I am the person you scared everyday.

I am the person who had nothing to say.

I am the person with hurt in his eyes.

I am the person you never saw cry.

I am the person living alone with his fears.

I am the person destroyed by his tears.

I am the person who drowned in your scorn.

I am the person who wished she hadn’t been born.

I am the person you destroyed for fun.

I am the person but not the only one.

I am the person whose name you didn’t know.

I am the person who can’t let go.

I am the person who has feelings too.

I am a person, just like you.

Annalise's Blog - 2

Posted by bullyingmatters on August 19, 2012 at 2:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Hope you are all well and looking forward to Annalise's second blog. Although it's short, it gives a real insight into the life of us school kids.

 

Enjoy!

 

* * *

hey,

last week a bully that was in my class last year came up to me and said "we're friends arent we?" and i said no, you hate me and you were mean to me in all of my primary school years, she didnt like me saying that but she added me as a friend on facebook and i accepted and she asked me if i wanted to go over to her house sometime, and i said um.... sure?

so, the next day at school one of her best friends said to me, "hey, i want you to come to my house too" and that was when i knew they were playing a cruel joke on me.

bullying can be in any form, and it can have a big impact on the life of others, more of an impact than most bullies realise.

Annalise x


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